How We Work and Why We're Slow

I've always been a journaler - daily affirmations, meditation, yoga, the whole spiritual toolkit. I'm not religious, but these practices ground me and keep me in the moment. They're my faith, really.

When I became ill, I stopped journalling because I can't write with a pen anymore. The tremors and shakes make it impossible. But when my sister-in-law (LW) mentioned it recently, the urge to start again was overwhelming.

Paul (my husband) has autism/ADHD and long COVID. When he decides he's going to do something, there's no stopping him - he goes into hyperfocus mode. He built our website, set up all the socials, and boom - we were ready to go.

Our System (Such As It Is!)

Here's how we make this work: I type notes about what I want to say, trying to make sense of my jumbled thoughts. Paul then translates my terrible notes, edits them, and formats everything. It's a good job he knows me so well because my typing is absolutely dreadful!

It's exhausting and frustrating that I can't just sit and write my journals like I used to. Brain fog and concentration issues make everything harder. But we've found a workaround.

I write in snippets now - stringing sentences together, capturing random thoughts a minute here, a minute there. It's like brain training, I suppose, growing new pathways. But bloody hell, it's tiring.

This is why it can take days to complete a single post, and why posts often get published retrospectively. Paul's long COVID and ADHD don't help either... squirrel!

Paul's note: Sha's doing herself a small disservice here. Her notes and snippets are still clearly in her voice. I might have to fill in some missing words and relocate words and letters that somehow got themselves in the wrong order, but there's not too much more than that.
Also, the delay to posting the last week or so is almost entirely mine - As we recover from Bearded Theory I've not had energy for much more than the basics of my day job and other commitments. Sha's drafted a number of journal posts - I just need to catch up with posting them.

The Reality Behind the Scenes

I don't know what I'd do without Paul. He deserves credit as ghost writer, co-writer, husband, love of my life, and personal assistant (I prefer that to 'carer' - sounds more professional, doesn't it?).

You'd never believe that in my previous life I was a successful Brand, PR and Marketing Manager. Now my brain won't work and I can't remember the simplest processes. 'Brain fog' they call it. I call it malfunctioning.

Some days I'm lucky to find words at all - written or spoken. Sometimes I just stutter. I never know what day of the week it is, and some days I can't figure out how to switch the TV on. Or remember to close the fridge door!

The Tough Days

It's taken me a week to write this, thanks to insomnia and migraines. It's been a rough week. When sleep finally comes, my dreams are bonkers. My memory is shot - one minute a thought's there and poof - it's gone. So it's slowly, slowly, bit by bit. Story of my life now.

I'm currently hiding alone in a blacked-out bedroom, in silence with just the cat and my tinnitus for company. All my invisible illnesses have joined the party. It's been stressful, I've been in unbearable pain and very upset.

Trigger after trigger - right now I wonder if I'll ever recover and get back to being the me I actually like. I don't like the person I've become. And now I've got horrible pins and needles in my feet and legs to finish me off.

But Here's the Thing...

Even on days like this, I'm still here. We're still creating. We're still sharing. Some days that feels like victory enough.

Tomorrow might be different. It might be better. And if it's not, well... we'll figure out how to make it work anyway.

That's our superpower, I reckon - the ability to adapt, to find workarounds, to keep going even when everything feels impossible.

So that's how we work, and why we're slow. But we're still moving forward, one snippet at a time.

Sha & Paul (Team Wheely Happy) xx

What's your superpower? How do you adapt when things don't go to plan? Let us know in the comments - we love hearing from you! 💜