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Tuesday 6th August 2025

A museum display at Vienna's MAK (Museum for Applied Arts) showing a chronological arrangement of historical chairs against a warm terracotta-colored wall. The collection includes approximately eight chairs spanning different periods and styles, from simple wooden ladder-back chairs to more ornate upholstered pieces with decorative elements. Behind them stands a tall display cabinet with glass doors. The chairs are positioned on a polished parquet wood floor, and the museum lighting creates a warm, scholarly atmosphere typical of design history exhibitions.

Embracing the Journey - Counselling, facing my anger and ability to forgive

As I navigate my counselling, I'm trying to embrace both the challenges and the process. I know I need to confront the memories that I have buried deep in my mind, and I understand I need to uncover deeper layers. And I'm learning that facing complex emotions is exhausting. But I'm also realizing the immense courage it takes to confront them. I'm working hard to find the energy to face these emotions, even while dealing with my physical limitations and pain.

Finding my voice: Journaling in "Wheely Happy Days" has become a treasured outlet for me, allowing me to express my thoughts and feelings. It provides a sense of hope and clarity that truly lifts my spirit throughout my journey on good days and 'Dia days'

It's important to acknowledge that where I am in my life right now is okay. It's completely natural to experience joyful moments while also facing dark days that bring their own challenges. This is part of discovering who I am now, finding my sparkle, and reigniting my passion for life step by step. Whether filled with happiness or difficulty, each experience contributes to my growth, understanding, and ultimately, my recovery.

Reflecting on the sudden and unexpected end of my employment, I find myself standing at a crossroads, with a whirlwind of emotions that weigh heavily on my heart. My journey in the world of marketing once filled me with immense joy and a deep sense of fulfilment. I just loved it.. However, now, I walk (pardon the pun) an uncertain path, and doubt looms large in my mind. I can't shake the feeling that I might never experience that spark of inspiration again, and the thought of returning to a role in marketing management seems daunting and out of reach.

There was a period in my career when marketing management brought me considerable satisfaction and joy. The sense of fulfilment I got from my work not only ignited my passion but also inspired me to give my all and more. However, this once-thriving experience became overshadowed by persistent uncertainty, pervasive negativity, and painful instances of bullying, alongside various workplace challenges. These harsh realities have left deep emotional scars that continue to affect me.

Currently, I still find myself grappling with resentment and anger that dims the joy I once embraced in my career. It's as if I'm caught in trying to reconcile the bright moments of my past with the heavy pain that overshadowed it.

I genuinely struggle with the idea that I may never reach a point of forgiving those who bullied and mistreated me. This is a heavy burden to carry, as I believe in second chances, truth, honesty, and integrity. Yet, it feels almost impossible at times; it's draining and exacerbating the mental fog that clouds my thoughts. It still hurts as I navigate the lies, hurt and betrayal, such as the manipulation and deceit I experienced, and the impact this has had on my health, striving to understand and release it.

I am not bitter; I am angry, and I'm finding it challenging to come to terms with—like untangling a tight knot created by my anguish. Each step forward is complex and deeply personal, requiring the patience and resilience I don't have right now. It is anything but simple, yet I continue to seek peace of mind so I can recover and discover a new work path to dive into.

Learning to trust people, gauge who they are, and decipher if they have an agenda feels more challenging now, but I'm working with Claire, my trusted therapist, to rebuild that capacity slowly. My workplace experiences have made me more cautious about who I trust, but Claire is helping me to distinguish between healthy boundaries and fear-based isolation.

Silver linings: The echoes of these experiences have profoundly impacted our family dynamics and finances. My husband has become my primary care, and I couldn't have coped without him, and as a family. We've a deeper, more resilient bond, which, in unexpected ways, will support me as I strive to reclaim my passion and purpose. I remain optimistic that I will recover and rediscover the things I love most in life, fueled by our resilience.

Moving forward: I firmly believe in the principle of karma—the idea that what goes around truly comes around. I fully embrace the notion that the actions we take, whether our own or those of others, send out ripples that can profoundly affect our lives and resonate in the lives of people near and far. Each choice and deed creates a wave, shaping our shared lives.

Each small step I take forward and backwards is beginning to see that there will be a brighter future. I'm learning to tackle every mental challenge I face. Physically and emotionally are part of my imperfect recovery, but I hold onto the hope of a brighter future.

Today's Mantra: "I am exactly where I need to be in this moment. My healing unfolds at its own pace, and every difficult feeling I face brings me another step closer "

Affirmations I'm trying to believe:

  • Forgiveness is a process, not a destination - I don't have to rush it. I may never be able to forgive, but I can find peace.
  • My worth isn't defined by what others did to me.
  • Carrying anger drains me of energy.
  • I have the strength to heal from this trauma.
  • My story doesn't end with what broke me; it's about recovering.

Love

Sha x

#WheelyHappyDays #CounsellingJourney #HealingProcess #TraumaWork #PersonalGrowth #ChronicIllnessRecovery #Resilience