By Published on

Wednesday 14th May 2025

Two handmade bracelets arranged in a circle on a wooden surface. The bottom bracelet features alternating orange and white beads with a few marbled stones. The top bracelet has flat coral and peachy-orange disc beads with three white letter beads that spell 'FND' (Functional Neurological Disorder). Both bracelets share a similar warm colour palette of oranges, corals, and whites, creating a meaningful and stylish pair.
Wearing my diagnosis with style. #FNDawareness @Sha Taylor

Pity Party for One

My neuro physio has been a godsend but today was her last day as she's moving to pastures new. Selfishly I'm really sad, because it's difficult to find therapists that you trust and feel are really invested in your care. When you're navigating this maze of medical appointments, finding someone who gets you feels like striking gold.

I wish her all the best in her new role as she is one amazing lady. Even Jasper cat loved her visits and would always demand her attention (and he is a scary cat who runs away when the doorbell rings and visitors come). High praise indeed from our feline judge of character!

A care plan is still in place, thankfully. I have OT, CBT and a 10-week wait for the pain management team, and then a new neurophysio will pick up my case, so I don't have to start from scratch. Small mercies, eh?

I'm properly exhausted today so this entry is going to be short and sweet - I can't even focus on the keyboard even with my glasses on. The letters are doing a little dance that my brain can't keep up with. I am worried about the upcoming festival and how I can manage it, but again, that's not something that's going to stop me. I will go, I will try. Wheels and all. The old Sha would want that for the new Sha.

Today's intentions:

  • Rest (actually meaning it this time)
  • Be kind to myself on a tough day
  • Cuddle the cats (best therapy going)

Three Good Things:

  • The sunshine streaming through the open doors
  • Jasper's unexpected cuddles when I needed them most
  • My sofa of dreams that cradles me when I can't make it upstairs

Evening Update:

Tonight I had some family news that's knocked me sideways. I can't talk about it without breaking many confidences, but it's left me feeling a bit helpless, and at the moment my illness makes any feelings like this feel so much worse. It's like the FND amplifies everything - not just the physical sensations but also the emotional ones.

When you're already running on empty, difficult news hits differently. You don't have those reserves of emotional strength to draw on. The wheelchair isn't just a physical limitation; sometimes it makes you feel powerless in other ways too.

But family is family, through thick and thin. Love doesn't need legs to stand on.

Affirmations:

  • Family bonds bend, but don't have to break
  • I am still a mother, even from a distance
  • This chair doesn't define my ability to love

Ending today where I started - on my sofa of dreams, resting with the cats as the evening light fades. Sometimes the pity party for one is necessary before you can move forward again.

Wheel see you tomorrow, if the spoons allow. Sha x

#WheelyHappyDays #FamilyMatters #ChronicIllnessReality #MumAlways #WheelchairLife