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Tuesday 30th September 2025 - At last. A negative COVID test.

A stack of COVID-19 antigen test kits with the top one showing a negative result (single line at the control marker) - the pile of used tests documenting the journey from infection through to recovery and that blessed moment of finally testing negative.
By SamuelFJohanns on pixabay.com

I am totally wiped out. This post may take a few days to dictate. Feeling quite fragile.

All I've done today is wake up, take a test, go to the bathroom, go back to bed, and dictate a little. Sometimes, when a thought arises in my mind, I find it's best to express it before it takes root, and you end up thinking about it for hours.

Time for a break. I feel so very alone.

My pain levels are horrible. I'm so exhausted. I don't think I'll get on top of things for a few days. It feels like a setback, which makes me very unhappy. But I have to try to be positive and find my silver linings. Find a little sparkle.

Three Good Things:

  1. A negative COVID test - Day 9 and I'm finally negative. If I had the energy, I could actually get up and see someone today. Actually be with another human being.
  2. Paul is COVID-free - I've been alone in this bed for far too long. No cuddles in what feels like forever, isolating because Paul suffers from long COVID. If I'd passed it on to him, I would never forgive myself. Ever. If he became ill again... I can't even think about it. But he's COVID-free so far. That's a blessing. That's a proper reason to be grateful.
  3. I'm still here - Still fighting. Still finding those silver linings even when everything feels impossible. Some days that's all you've got, and that has to be enough.

Evening Reflection:

I've not really been with it much. Horrible symptoms are making me delirious at times. Fumbling around at night, not being able to distinguish sleep from awake, real from what's not real. Waking up in a panic, not knowing where I was. Sometimes, Thinking I was somewhere else and couldn't find the light switch... then I had to remind myself: I'm safe. I'm in my bed. I'm in my little purple cottage. Paul is downstairs.

I seem to have lost 8 days. They've all merged into each other, one long blur of pain and fever and confusion. This COVID bout has been the worst I've ever had. I fear it's set me back physically and emotionally.

But on day 9, I'm negative. Completely overwhelmed with fatigue and pain, but negative.

Today's Intentions:

  • Rest (properly rest)
  • Keep fluids going
  • Take meds when due
  • Be kind to myself about this setback
  • Sleep (please, body, just sleep)

I hope sleep is kind to me tonight. Wishing you sweet dreams, folks.

Love, Sha x