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Yoga I Love 💟

Woman in red patterned kimono-style cover-up over black top and leggings, sitting cross-legged on a blue yoga mat on sandy beach with both arms raised triumphantly toward a peach and pink sunset sky. The ocean waves are gently rolling behind her, and the wet sand reflects the warm sunset colours. Her face is tilted upward with a joyful expression of pure celebration and freedom.
Yoga at sunset on the beach in Morocco before the FND - June 2022 - © theaardvark

New Community Centre, New Hope

Where we live in Burntwood (a place I absolutely love) has a brand new community centre which happens to be just two minutes' trundle from our little purple cottage. Perfect wheelchair distance!

They've only just opened and are hosting weekly yin yoga classes there. I really want to give it a go - you can only do what you can do, right?

I know my body has many limitations right now, but even if I just lie there in that beautiful, calm atmosphere, it's still a win. Yin yoga is gentle, slow, floor-based positions with cushions for support that focuses on yogic breathing, slow small movements, and mindfulness. At the end, you wrap yourself in a blanket for warmth with a pillow for Savasana - it's so soothing.

Being realistic about expectations: YES, I might be trying to run before I can walk here, but I love and miss yoga and meditation. It grounds me. I've really missed practising, and I've got to try and help myself somehow.

If nothing else:

  • I'd have got dressed (don't know if my exercise clothes still fit me)
  • It will get me out of the house (escaped these four walls)
  • My hope is that it will lift my spirits - mind, body, and soul (hope feels like all I have right now)

My spiritual anchor: I'm not a religious person, but I am spiritual. Through practising yoga and meditation, there's this 'sweet spot' you can reach - a stillness, an inner peace that I can't describe with words. It's my happy place, more of a feeling than anything else.

Since I've been unwell, I've tried to meditate at home with little success. Finding it hard to still my mind, which frustrates me so much because I want to heal. I guess that's down to the neuro issues I have now.

Remembering who I was: In times gone by, before my body broke, when I knew who I was, I always came home from yoga/meditation feeling happy, grounded, with all the stresses and strains of life gone. I'd practice sun salutations most mornings at home before work in my 'womb' (my sacred room in the house) and meditate in the evenings.

My favourite place to practice was on holiday - down to the beach at sunrise and sunset, watching the sun and moon rise and fall, feeling the tide of the sea go in and out, listening to the waves crashing as they rolled onto the earth, feeling the sand beneath my feet and between my toes. Right now, these simple pleasures are nothing but memories.

I miss those days. I grieve the person I was.

Woman with red hair in pigtails wearing a burgundy GAP hoodie and black leggings, suspended in bright yellow aerial yoga silks in a wide squat position with arms extended horizontally. She's in a bright white studio with other students visible in background, one using pink aerial silks. Woman has a focused, peaceful expression while demonstrating strength and balance in the aerial pose.
Woman with hair in a messy bun wearing a black strappy top and patterned leggings, sitting cross-legged in meditation pose on bright green manicured grass. Behind her is a stunning ocean view with deep blue water, white foam waves, and clear blue sky. A modern glass balustrade separates the lawn from the beach below. Golden afternoon sunlight creates dramatic shadows on the grass.
Empty beach scene with a vibrant pink and black patterned yoga mat spread on golden sand in foreground, alongside a striped beach bag. The expansive beach stretches into the distance under brilliant blue sky with wispy white clouds and bright sunburst. Rolling sand dunes and sparse coastal development visible on the horizon. The scene suggests a peaceful moment before or after yoga practice in this stunning Moroccan coastal setting.

Today's hope: I hope yoga and meditation can still be my safe harbour. I know some people will read this and think I'm some sort of hippy, witchy idiot, but it makes me who I am. I'm a little lost without my anchor.

I'm desperate to recover my inner peace, improve my mobility and overall health. To start piecing together all those little fragments of what makes me the person I was and liked, or rebuild the person I'm becoming.

Team effort: Paul's coming too, to keep an eye on me and to join the practice. He's a yoga virgin, but this is such a gentle session that I think it may help his Long COVID with the yogic breathing. Although I'm not sure how his AUDHD will cope with the mindfulness bit, but I hope he comes away feeling some kind of benefit.

I used to really enjoy aerial yoga, but I don't think I'll get back there again. Right now, I think I'm more likely to end up in a hoist than ever achieving aerial yoga again, if ever.

Forward momentum: I still have faith in recovery - to what degree, who knows, but I will not give up. My NHS appointment for the ME/CFS clinic seems forever and a day away. I know they're understaffed and underpaid with such long waiting lists. I need to try to do more to help myself. Graduated exercise will be part of that therapy; yin is just that.

Am I trying to convince myself or you?

Update: I didn't convince my physio. She convinced me that 30 minutes of yoga might be a step too far and would likely cause PEM (post-exertional malaise) for the next 2 - 3 days. Yoga classes are a no-no for now. Instead, I need to look at some online 10-minute sessions I can do at home until I've built up some stamina.

Namaste 🙏 Sha x

#WheelyHappyDays #YinYoga #ChronicIllnessRecovery #CommunitySupport #MindBodySoul #MECFSJourney #Burntwood #YogaHealing