By Published on

Sunday 8th June 2025

An illustration of a person with long red hair sitting on a sofa, holding their head in their hands in distress. There are pain lines radiating from their head, suggesting a headache or migraine. A tissue box, phone, mug, and crumpled tissues are scattered on the coffee table in front of them, perfectly capturing the 5am migraine nightmare struggle described in the post.
When your brain decides 5am is the perfect time for anxiety nightmares AND a migraine.

CBT & counselling appointment anxiety nightmare

I've been working myself up about CBT & counselling starting in a couple of weeks.

Last night, I had a nightmare that woke me up and made my tummy leap. The kind that leaves you sitting bolt upright in bed, heart hammering, wondering what the hell your brain's been up to while you were trying to sleep.

I know I need CBT to help with my illness. Still, I've avoided counselling for years because I know I'll have to talk about things way in the past - things I've kinda locked away in the depths of my mind, thrown away the key and made my peace with them that way. Or so I thought.

You know when you've got memories of things that have happened, you vividly remember them, but you've been told that it never happened? Or you wonder if you actually remember something that occurred or if it's something you've overheard? The brain's a funny thing - it stores stuff in the weirdest ways, and sometimes you're not sure what's real and what's your mind filling in the gaps.

I'm overthinking something that's two weeks away. But it will be hard and upsetting, and I'm frightened of opening that box. The Pandora's box that I've kept firmly shut for decades. But I've promised myself I need to do it - for my mental health, for my physical health, for Paul, for the kids, for me.

Today's health check: My migraines/insomnia/nightmares are all linked, apparently. So, more meds for me and back to sleep. Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day, and my brain will give me a break from the 3am horror shows.

Today's mantra (on repeat): Think nice thoughts. Think nice thoughts. Think nice thoughts.

Current time: 5am

Current request to the universe: Please go away, migraine.

Affirmations (that I'm trying to believe at stupid o'clock):

  • Facing the past doesn't mean living in it
  • I am stronger now than I was then
  • Healing happens when you're ready, not when you're comfortable

Sometimes the hardest battles happen in the middle of the night when your defenses are down and your brain decides it's time for a trip down memory lane. But morning always comes, and with it, a fresh chance to be kind to myself.

Right now, I'm going back to bed with my heated wheat bag and hoping for dreamless sleep.

Wheel see you later, loves. Sha x

#WheelyHappyDays #CBTAnxiety #ChronicIllnessLife #MigraineLife #HealingJourney #3amThoughts